Submission (#6482) Approved

A translation in case the text is too small to read:

Your name: Tsubame
Your species: Trabble

1. "If I can be perfectly candid, I would like to stress that I did not seek this position of my own accord; I was talking to a good friend of mine one day and the subject of strange sightings around the area came up. I was skeptical at first (still kind of am, actually), but they insisted I should check it out anyway just to see what all the fuss was about. It sure sounds at least mildly interesting (although I don't know if it will actually be any fun, like they're supposing it will be), so after much debate--and one lost game of rock-paper-scissors--I got my flippers on this application in secret, and here we are, I guess."
2. "Ｎｏ ｃｏｍｍｅｎｔ．"
3. "In filling out this application, I, Tsubame, hereby agree that I understand this position will be fraught with dangers up to and including the following: "(copied wholesale from the news post, distortions and all)" <--huh?? It all sounds suuuuper dangerous, but whatever, I might get lucky and not end up suffering any of these aforementioned ailments... y'know, lest you all receive a strongly-worded letter of complaint from my caretaker later. To witt--er, reiterate: yes, I understand the risks and I choose to accept anyway."
4. "Nooooone. Let's hope that doesn't change."